The 25th Hour ~karenjcardoza.com~

For the very first time since I started teaching my population of students (those with significant cognitive disabilities) I’m seriously considering leaving my position and looking into something else at the job fair this June. I love my kids and I love what I do every day. I love my teaching assistant and the teacher that I share a room with. I love to be greeted with hugs when I arrive at school on Monday mornings and I love celebrating with them when they achieve something that they’ve worked hard to learn.

I’m very sad about this but I feel like I’m being torn because my love for those kids is being overshadowed by my disdain from the Alternate Assessment Datafolios that I’m required to submit to the state every year. I know that every job has pros and cons but that’s just it… the scales have tipped so far this year that my hatred of the project that I’m mandated to do far outweighs my love of the job. I fear that the stress of it all is permeating every aspect of my life and the stress surely can’t be good for my health and well being. (Only 2 teachers in my district are required to do them and the number of hours that I spend working on it is completely unrealistic for anyone. Not only am I required to dream up 36-48 distinct activities to match goals, but collect data on over 100 others, enter data on a website that continually crashes for me, and have the students actually perform those activities … All in addition to the typical things that we just do each and every day as part of our curriculum.)

Of course, there may not even be anything available of interest to me at the job fair but to think that I’m seriously considering it is just unbelievable. It’s so sad that I feel that I’m almost being forced out of my career of choice because of something beyond my control. (The completed datafolios are due May 8th and as of now, I’m not even close to being done… and I mean not even close…. so, I’ve got every free period, school night, weekend and April vacation earmarked to work on them. Forget about reading, getting enough exercise or sleep, enjoying nature and putting out any web content. My life will begin again on 05/09/08.)

New England is in the midst of a huge rainstorm and my front yard is like a swamp. The storm cloud is overhead but not just outside. Sometimes I’m just in a funk… I call it the Funk Fog rolling in. I’m in the midst of a storm right now. Just too many things to do to catch up with in work, and the day to day grind is getting to me. (Note to self: Don’t fall down the stairs and get a back injury that puts you out of work for 6 weeks and still have to get the dreaded Alternate Assessment done on time.) I’ve got lots on my mind, feeling fat, and it’s raining… At least Chloe doesn’t mind the storm..

I’m really starting to get anxious about the Superbowl; I’ve got that butterfly feeling in my stomach.. and can’t wait! Tomorrow is Pats/Giants Day ( what I call Pats vs. everybody who hates the Pats Day) at school. I’ll be bringing in Pats garb for our classes to wear. (We ARE The Patriots Team afterall!)

I’m still amazed at the media coverage that this Superbowl has afforded me. We didn’t have The NFL Network, bloggers, podcasters, or videopodcasters the last time the Pats won the Big One. Yesterday, I went online to check my work email and jumped over to Patriots.com for a minute and there were 6 live streaming video press conferences on their front page!

It seems somewhat strange not being down there for the Superbowl but it definitely wasn’t in the cards. With the families staying at the same hotel as the players, a credential would be required to get on the grounds, so we wouldn’t be able to hang out with our friends The Paxtons anyway. Instead, we’ll have a small party here at home.

I’ll be putting out one more podcast before the Big Game and continuing to update the website daily. (I updated this morning but can’t do so from the laptop so the evening update will wait until the morning if I can squeeze it in while waiting for my turn in the shower.)

Meanwhile, it’s been a VERY busy week at work and I’ve had lots of appointments and meetings. I’m right in the throws of the dreaded Assessment Project that drove me absolutely nuts last school year. (God… why can’t I just TEACH?!) Once the Superbowl is done I’ll be dedicating all of my energy to that once again this year.

But for now… I’m hoping that the girls sleep through the night for a change and I can get some much needed rest.

Go Pats!!